Grand finale.

To say the least... a c-section would have been a walk in the park on a cool breezy day compared to what we just went through. Despite all the pain and turmoil I am more than thankful that me and Jonas are alive and well. More doctors and more surgery perhaps so there's still lots to pray about. Blog closed. New chapter begins.

Last entry.

This will be my last entry until after baby boy is born. Partly because I usually blog because I am bored at work and three hours from now my job will be stay at home mom. Second because 100% of my extra focus will be going to doing everything I can to take care of myself and get this labor going. Natural induction attempts start as soon as I am done sleeping today. I am also very excited to be able to return to a normal sleeping schedule (compared to now). Sleeping during the daytime is tough. I'm going to stock up on books and craft supplies and take it easy this week. A healthy diet, brisk walks, and lots of sleep are my plans. That and trying to stay on top of house chores between now and delivery so when we bring baby home I won't have to worry about stuff too much.

Today my car is going to get a much needed tune up. It's been acting funny. Great timing huh? As long as it gets me home in the morning, to the birth center for labor, and to church on Sunday I'm happy. Husband territory =)

I got new glasses and they are awesome! They are more sturdy than the last pair. And the last pair had those magnetic sunglass things and were three plus years old. Use those benefits while I have them is the idea. Gotta take care of yourself.

Soon to come... my opinion of labor/delivery based on what happens in the next two weeks.

Forget days... lets talk hours!

31 hours and I will be done at work.

x hours and I will have a baby in my arms.

Simple enough right?

This has been the longest week of my life because I feel such a lack of motivation at work. There are a few things keeping me going. For one is benefits for July. As long as I can make it through the next 31 hours I will have benefits for July. Been praying about that one for months...

It's like watching for water to boil. When you anticipate it always seems to take longer. We're in the home stretch now. I couldn't be happier! =)

Saturday I am going to sleep and then go walking with my husband, take a shower, and we're going to go look at some model homes. We have one house in particular we've been looking at in our expected price range. We're also considering buying some land and placing a modular home on it. If the prices are about the same we'd get more selection with a modular placement. I just want at least 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, and a good place for a garden and a swing set for the baby =) God willing... Lee's applying for the loan tomorrow to see how possible it will all be.

Natural induction attempts start on Saturday. Pray we don't make it too late and baby decides to come sooner than overdue but after 8am Saturday.

Blessing of the day... chicken nuggets with honey! Yum! And peach milkshakes... I didn't have one but it sounded good =)

4 more days

I just need to make it four more days and I'll be done with work and I will have medical insurance in the bag for the month of July and I will officially be a stay at home mom for the next who knows how long. Just have to sort out short term disability claims and I'll be resolved. Stay in there till Saturday please baby! Just four more days and I'll be happy as can be. =)

One week = 7 days!

Seven more days and I am done at work and will have arrived at my due date.

=)

Love!

I love Jesus!

I love my husband!

I love my family!

I love my friends!

I love myself!

Disappointed.

The only word to express how I feel right now is disappointed. Today I recieved official rejection of my maternity related leave for work which means after I leave there will be no job for me to come back to. =(

Some people may read that statement and say "WHAT!?!" They can't do that! That's illegal!

Here are the reasons they can do that and are not approving my leave.

1. I have not been at this job for the amount of time needed for FMLA to protect me.

2. I am still under my time frame of 6 months - probabtion.

3. I don't have the sick time needed to cover the potential leave I'll need to recover from delivery of the baby.

So here is what I intend to do. I am going to check the HR web site every day until they re-post my position that I have been filling for the past 4+ months and apply for it the second I see it. I am going to work as long as I can so that my benefits stretch into the month of July and I don't have to worry about that. I am going to resign from the position and leave on good terms so that I am elligible for re-hire. And most importantly I'm going to be a mommy.

These things happen in life. I am not upset... just disappointed. I've been praying about this since I got the job. I've been praying that God's will be done in this. That if he wants me to have this job then he will secure it for me and if not then I can let it go peacefully. If even after the position is re-posted they decided to not hire me back I will move on from this. No harm. This job has provided so much for us already. Health insurance to be able to afford all this in the first place, money to get ready for baby, money to pay off old medical bills and credit cards, and it has provided me with something I enjoy doing for the past four months.

I have been blessed through this position and could not ask for more out of life that what God has given me. On that positive note I'm going to not talk about this anymore aside from what needs to be discussed with my husband, with tying things up at work before I leave, and in my heart with the Lord.

9 or 10

I don't know which to count... days of work I have left before maternity leave or days in general until the due date. I suppose days of work is better to count because that's days where I actually have to follow a schedule.

This week is VBS at church and I pray I have enough energy to go. Starts at 6pm tomorrow night. When I get home from work I'm going to crash hard and hope for the best. It'll be worth it. I just need to remember to bring a water bottle and not overdo it. Otherwise it'll make work torture... blah =P I've been praying for awhile now that we get lots of kids and families to come and they get saved through the efforts we are making as well as that who comes and is saved already grows in the Lord. =)

On the housing market look-outs all four houses that me and Lee were highly considering purchasing were pulled off the market for about a month and have just been re-posted for about $10,000 less than what they were priced before =) Talk about awesome! We've got our credit scores in prime shape and are applying for financing now. Once we're approved we'll go check out the houses in person and decide which to make an offer on. I know which one I like. It has a nice kitchen and lots of space. They're all in the same neighborhood go figure =) I want to plant orange trees in the yard once we move in. I've always wanted orange trees and in FL it's possible for sure!

So the countdown continues as does baby's kicks. I can hardly tell the difference between those Braxton-Hicks Contractions and his kicks and my normal discomforts anymore. Apparently when I'm in labor I'll know it and I have no doubt about that. It's just a question of when (hurry up little guy! We're ready for you!).

The Lion King

I was just watching The Lion King and it definately made me cry. Does that mean it's time to have baby? I hope so!

Today was a rough day. I had a root canal at 8am this morning. They didn't numb me enough so that caused some pain to be felt. I grunted and raised my hand big time and they injected more stuff. Meanwhile my heart rate went crazy and I couldn't stop shaking. Needed a break big time. I felt like I was going to pass out. A little water, a walk around and some deep breaths and back in the chair. Later on some bad dreams and some shaking and heart racing after a dream revisiting the events of the day. Makes baby bounce around. Now I am fine and feel a lot better. I think I freaked out Lee more than anything.

Tomorrow (today I guess) I'm going to sleep, clean house, and then we're going out to Lee's sister's cause the brother in law is up from Tampa for a visit. Should be fun. It'll be a little exhausting with all the pregnancy banter, but I'm prepared.

My youngest brother graduated from high school and is working at camp this summer. Takes me back. He is soooo much like me it's uncanny. Runs in the family I guess. He's going to have the best time and then off to college. He'll do great. I miss my family big time. Thankfully the internet allows for better communication. I can't wait till Christmas. I pray we can take a two week trip up for a nice long visit with baby Jonas. He'll be six months by then.

Meanwhile still waiting for baby to show up. Two weeks to the day till the due date. =)

Sigh.

I just wanted to state that we live in a Christian nation not a Muslim nation last I checked. We all need prayers... lots of prayers.

Plans change.

Weekend didn't go as planned but still went well.

Baby's room is ready! Nothing left to do other than rearrange things and have the baby. =)
And maybe get me a rocking chair...

I still need to work on the rest of the house as always.

A/C will be fixed on the car tomorrow I hope and pray.

Birth center appointment tomorrow. I've been feeling some different movement down in the baby dept. we need to talk about. Nothing serious... just different and stronger.

BM... if you know what I mean great... if not I'm not explaining it.

Sunday night Lee's cousin graduated. We went to Lee's church he went to as a kid and visited with his daddy and his grandparents and his uncle and aunt and cousin. Then we went to Lee's daddy's house and had dinner and visited with his step mom and sister. Very nice evening. I got a little overheated on the way there due to the lack of A/C in the car but lived. No harm done. More stuff was given for the baby. This kid will be spoiled... just not spoiled rotten =)

I tried to share some truth and it was rejected... one more diligent name for the prayer list.

Work is slow and I have three weeks till my due date. I hope for leave purposes only I make it to my due date. If not that's the way the cookie crumbles. May God's will be done. I have a feeling in my gut baby will be here sooner. (get it... in my gut... haha!)

French Toast

I had a very tough day today...

after work I got really sick... lost everything I ate last night sick...

then I ate some bland breakfast and drank a big glass of water and some sprite and went to my appointment at the birth center...

all my tests came back healthy and I don't have to have an IV during labor...

then the secretary confused my pants off about the payments saying that we should have paid in full by today... I knew nothing of this. The contract is written too general. It says 36 weeks... 36 weeks of what is what should be detailed better. We're going to talk to the owner on Monday and arrange the rest of the payments with her... our story is a little different anyhow. Shouldn't be a problem at all. Lee's in charge of that...

still no official approval of my leave from work... a little frustrating... gives me more time to pray about it...

Final note... I'm ready to have the baby... it's hard to think in 3 weeks I'll be a mommy and hold my son in my arms. 5 weeks at most.

Tomorrow we will finish getting ready for him and all we'll have left to do it wait.

Also are looking at going to visit Lee's grandparents... maybe spend the night out there. =) Lee's grandma is the best cook ever!

We went to Cracker Barrel last night and I had french toast, bacon, eggs, and coke to drink... biscuits and gravy there was no room to eat so that will be yummy when I wake up from sleeping today.

Tomorrow we go shopping for baby stuff... going to buy a trash bin with a lid, a glider chair with an automan, a dresser (or changing table), and anything else we don't have. Then when we get home from shopping we're going to put it all together and put baby's stuff in his room and I'm going to take pictures the whole day and post them on facebook sometime this week. Then hopefully we'll be driving to Lee's grandparent's house for a visit. Lee's day will be considerably long as he is going to church at 8 to do grounds duty with Marc then going to the post office and then going back to church for visitation and then going shopping with me and doing baby stuff. Such a wonderful husband! I could not ask for more. I love his so much and then so much more as the days go by.

Full Term, Full Figure, Full of Baby, Full Nursery

Tomorrow it is officially safe to delivery that baby that's been growing inside of me for what seems like forever. Leave at work still hasn't been approved... we're at the point of waiting for the final word. May the Lord's will be done. I'm just super excited to have this baby in a matter of weeks in my arms. I hope my belly shrinks down relatively reasonably. I feel like a cow anymore. A very pregnant cow.

This past Monday was the baby shower for our baby boy. He's going to be so spoiled! It was more than I ever imagined. It's difficult at times because my family and friends up till a year ago are all 1,000 miles away. But down here I have a different family, but family all the same. Our church family and Lee's family have more than been supportive with their prayers and generosity. I thank God every day for blessing me so much. And to top it all off the newest addition is going to be here so soon. =)

I met with a pediatrician today and he's going to be the baby's doctor. It was wonderful. I feel so much better about it all now that we've squared that away. We chose Dr. Tom Benton. It's a little bit of a drive to his office but it is well worth it. The office was clean, the staff was friendly, he's a father of five, they gave me a book and a bag of goodies... and he answered all my questions. He was great!

I also went to the dentist yesterday and am getting a cleaning today. I have some dental issues. My one tooth chipped in the back and it needs some immediate assistance. One day at a time, one dental visit at a time. I pray we can get it taken care of and it doesn't turn worse than it is.

I am looking forward to this weekend. We're going to spend some vacation time in St. Augustine to celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary. I am hoping for no rain. It'll be nice to sleep in a big bed and relax in a hot tub and spend time with my husband and not have to worry about anything. Then Sunday morning we're looking at going to church with Lee's dad and stepmom. Should be a good weekend.

Evaluated

I got evaluated at work in relation to my leave I am sure. I did good. 30/40 which puts me in the upper adequate range of evaluations. I'm very happy with this.

I'm very ready for my maternity leave. Tomorrow we do the final touches of things needed to be done before delivery. Baby shower is Monday and then we'll do final shopping for baby after next payday.

I am officially nine months pregnant as of today and boy do I feel it. I slept really good today. 8 almost solid hours... silly bathroom breaks.

On a bad note I chipped a tooth today and need some dentist action. Hubby is going to call around tomorrow and see where and when I can get in somewhere so this doesn't develop into a baby dangerous issue. It was bleeding a little but doesn't really hurt. Just to be safe I packed only soft food for my lunch today and am rinsing after eating like it's my job.

All I want to do now is sleep but I need to go to the post office today before I go to sleep. Depending on how I'm feeling I may or may not get around to that. I have a birthday present to send my daddy and a necklace to mail to Shanna. I may just wait till Tuesday and send this stuff with my husband during lunch hour instead so I can get to sleep right away. It's a long weekend after all and I should sleep as much as possible as a result. Next Friday I'm offically in my delivery window for labor. I pray I make it to my due date. We'll see what God has planned for me however. Baby will come when He is ready.

Happy Memorial Day everyone! Don't forget to remember what it's for.

Reality.

Ultrasounds make the pregnancy feel so much more real. You spend so much time dealing with the symptoms and preparing it doesn't really allow you the attention towards the baby itself. I get filled with tears of joy thinking in about a month I'm going to be a mommy. And my wonderful husband is going to be a daddy. How much of our lives do we spend this way? Consumed by the day to day we forget to stop and appreciate what it's all for. The interesting, the cultural, the outward drag. Instead I'd rather be able to stop and look at the picture that reminds us of the simple beauty God has blessed upon us. With all the pain in this world and the suffering and the sin it makes the good moments truely wonderful. Especially with becoming a parent it makes me cherish the rest of my family, those who are in my life and not, so much more important to me. It pains me to think of how people bicker and argue with each other over so many trivial things and it pains me that much more when it is over the important things in life. I pray from the deepest part of my heart that I am blessed with the guidence to raise my children in a strong Christian home so they may know the Lord one day and as they grow into the people they will be will see the joy the Lord gives us. And with that I pray we can strive every day to live as examples for Christ and do the Lord's work. Because that would please Him.

Common Cold

I have a cold and can't take off from work because I need all the sick time I can get for my maternity leave. =( This makes me sleep all day which means nothing has changed except that whole stuffy nose sore everything enhanced vitamin C thing I'm going through. I hope it passes with all this rain.

Appointments!

My calendar is so full it seems. Before the baby is born I have one birth center visit every week from now on, I have meet and greet with a pediatrician, I have another ultrasound scheduled for this week, I have to talk to HR about approval for maternity leave, a baby shower, a visit to some in-laws, and the list goes on. If all that doesn't make me go into labor I don't know what will.

Today at my birth center appointment they took blood and did a test for some kind of bacteria that can make the baby sick. Pray test results come back healthy. I don't want to have an IV during labor. So much is going to be going on to begin with.

I've also found a new show I can't stop watching for some reason... Jon and Kate Plus 8. Their kids are so precious. There are some questionable things there but I just stop and ask myself how I would be in their situation. Talk about prayer. I like the show about the Duggar family better but you can't find full episodes of their show anywhere I've looked. Maybe I'll order the DVD from their web site. Couldn't tell you. We don't have cable for a good reason and it's not because we can't afford it. There is way too much junk on TV that we don't want in our house. So it's not. There's enough that filters through in movies to deal with. Before the baby is born I'm going to go through and clean up my DVD collection again. It's hard to throw things away and I refuse to try to sell something I deem innapropriate to someone else. One of my struggles.

Otherwise all is well. I've been having a lot of back pain and indigestion which makes it hard to get to sleep sometimes. But once I am out there is no hope in waking me up till either I get hungry or a bathroom break is in sight.

36 days!

It seems like every entry I make is a focus of coutdown.

36 days.

I remember in 2007 when I was counting down the days until I would be done with AmeriCorps. That was mostly because of a negative influence in my life and because I wanted to get to Ohio on account of my Daddy being sick with the cancer. Crazy how far I've come since then. Daddy is now cancer free and I'm back in FL, married and about to have myself a baby. I just wish my parents lived closer. I miss them terribly.

June 2nd is mine and Lee's 1st wedding anniversary. Hard to imagine it's been a year already. Hopefully on the 30th we will be able to take a trip to St. Augustine and stay in a hotel overnight. It'll be our last hoorah before life changes forever and we have that little bundle of baby boy to consume us.

We bought a coming home outfit for Jonas today. It's a little onsie (spell?) with bugs on it and it says "bug buddies". Lee found it and I loved it. It's hard to imagine this little guy needing so much stuff still. I feel a bit overwhelmed.

Otherwise I just want to sleep sleep sleep. I get soooo tired all the time. Weekend is almost here and I'm going to hopefully tackle some more baby preparing and get lots and lots of sleepy.

Feeling Better

My advice to anyone who is pregnant is keep up the regular walks. I stopped doing them for a few weeks because I had unjustified fears that I might go into pre-term labor, but went and walked today and feel a million times better. Lots of water and regular walks make it feel so good. Makes for an easier labor so I hear as well. =) I made the nasty magnesium drink like it's supposed to be and it wasn't as nasty. Still gross. Makes me feel good. If it wasn't for those leg cramps... or as I like to call leg twists of death... I would avoid the stuff 100%. But it does relieve your muscle pains. Calm is the brand name of the stuff I have if anyone is interested in trying it.

5 weeks on Friday till the official due date. All I want to do is eat and sleep it seems. Can you blame me? This weekend I hope to get some serious work done in the ready for baby dept. I also want to give the house a good top to bottom scrub since that won't be happening for awhile when the baby gets here. I did a lot this past week cleaning wise... there's just clutter of stuff in our apt that needs organizing. I'm also going to pack my bag for the birth this weekend =)

We finally got a bedframe and it is amazingly so much easier to get up out of bed now as well as into bed. May be the reason why all I want to do is sleep and eat. Couldn't be sure. All I know is I love my bed!

So much to do and so little time!

Talk about the due date creeping up! I have three weeks till the baby is grown enough to have a safe delivery without complications and less than six weeks until the little guy's due date. Baby shower is the 25th of this month and we have countless things to get ready at home...

I'm going to make a big fat list for my husband of things we need to get done in the next three weeks. I'm having trouble knowing where to start with it all. Yesterday we went and bought a car seat. I loves that classic style winnie the poo! Cute! I really am praying hard for all of this to go as smoothly as possible. It'll be great.

Yesterday was mother's day. I called my mom to wish her a happy one. I wonder if my brothers paid the same respects. We took Lee's mama out to lunch which was a lot of fun. I got really tired and overheated and swollen and felt like I wanted to die by the time I got home. Working nights + being pregnant + staying up all day + a hot car ride + swelling = a very cranky me that loves the comfy bed filled with pillows. Lee was very proud of how tough I was and I got a shower, a back rub, and he read me the bible till I fell asleep. Talk about a great husband!

Today I plan on going back to bed as soon as Lee goes to work and sleeping all day long. =)

6 weeks to go!

Six weeks to go until the due date now... and boy am I ready for it. I have been so tired this week its unreal. This weekend me and baby are going to play catch up. I had one of those baby dreams today. Baby boy was about 3 years old in it and he had bright red hair. He was jumping around in front of a window and telling me he wanted to go outside and help daddy with the yard work. I told him we'll make daddy a drink instead cause he's working so hard he must be thirsty. So baby watched while I made a drink then we brought it to my husband together and baby said "here daddy I made you a drink". Great dream =) Only a matter of time till it's reality.

On the radio I was listening to BBN and they were talking about the role of mothers. Very encouraging. According to the guy speaking there is no statistical evidence in an average family that when the mom who has kids (dependants) is working a "real job" is making the family's financial situation any better unless they make over $50,000 a year. If you ask me, being a mom is the biggest and best job a lady can have. Our financial situation as of now is so where I am going to keep my "real job" until our debt is under control and then stay around for insurance for some more babies and then be a full time mom. Who knows how long this may take... perhaps ten years? It's in the Lord's hands. I really like my job and want to stay as long as possible, not just for the benefits. Once all the babies are school age we may be looking at homeschooling and family comes first always. In the short life and array of jobs I've had if I've learned anything it's that jobs come and go and it's your family and friends through the years that are much more important in your life. I trust that the Lord will provide what we need. He has so much already. A great testimony of that has been this past year. People thought me crazy to just pick up and quit my job in Ohio and move to Florida and get married like I did. But it is what the Lord led me to do. He stirred my heart. Once in Florida and settled we got pregnant when we were just getting by enough for the two of us and I was without insurance. There were a few tough months there but we stayed faithful and prayed diligently about it and God provided us with a job that would provide extra income and insurance for me that would cover the delivery of our baby boy. I could not have asked for more. And on top of that it is a job where I am using my college education. God keeps his promises and takes care of us. He doesn't give us what we can't handle by trusting in Him. =)

6 weeks and 2 days!

Today I did not sleep well at all. My back hurt almost as bad as right after that bus accident, my tummy was upset all day no matter what I did to fix it, there's too many fluffy pillows in my bed, I lost my teddy bear, and everything smells like a dumpster! And my belly is filled with a baby that kicks my bladder, squishes my tummy, and makes it hard to breath and impossible to lay down comfortably without my arms going numb. I must be pregnant. Not trying to complain... just saying how it be. Fortunately I have an amazing husband that has been cooking me dinner and doing dishes and giving great back rubs. Just over six more weeks and I'll be as sore as they come and I can sleep as much as possible between taking care of the baby. =) Can we say anxious?

And counting and counting and counting...

7 weeks until the due date. Yes! Let's do a baby update... according to the experts...

Baby is over 4lbs!
Baby is about 19 inches long!
Baby's room measures around 5 inches over my belly button!
There's a lot of fluid in my body... most there will be all pregnancy!
And maternity cloths are worth the investment!
My back is all kinds of twisted!

Other than that I'm not in the mood to write a novel tonight.

Praise be everything has gone well so far and I pray we have a strong finish.

Magnesium is my friend.

I got this Natural Calm drink mix from the Birth Center and am hoping it will taste ok and give me an energy boost. I've been so tired lately. Growing a baby is hard work. Only problem is I don't have a mug to mix it in so I don't know if I should chance just mixing it in cold water. Give me an hour and I'll get the guts to do so and probably pour it out and waste the mix. It's an orange flavor so I'm afraid of indigestion as well. Here goes nothing... GULP!

Red Sauce = Bad

Red Sauce, greasy food, vitamin filled C fruits, ketchup, barbaque sauce, and beef hotdogs = bad.

Maternity Leave

I officially submitted my request for work for maternity leave. Makes it all feel that much more real. With the due date of June 20th me and Lee decided I should work up to my due date. Then I have two weeks at home to try for some natural induction. For those that say how can that be possible here's a list of things that will cause you to go into labor (no guaruntee of course).

-spicy food consumption
-that thing you did that made you pregnant to start with
-brisk walks
-castor oil milkshake (ewww!)

That means the above list will be avoided from weeks 36-40 and encouraged after 40 weeks. If I don't go into labor by July 4th then I will be transferred to the hospital and they will try a chemical induction and if that doesn't do the trick last resort is a C-Section =( I do not want a C-Section at all costs if I can avoid it. But with all of this and a 6 week recovery time as long as I make it to my due date I'll be able to return to work by the middle of August. I pray that God's will be done with the labor and timing and that I find job security through it all. I really do like my job. I want to be able to come back when ready.

In the mean time I'm excited about two events in particular. One is a Mother's Day banquet at church coming up in early May and the other is a baby shower. I feel as clueless about baby showers and I did about bridal showers. But it's sure to be a good time if they are similar. Me and Lee had a great time together registering at Target. He was so cute... I mean manly. He picked out a stuffed monkey and some ducky slippers for after bath time. (His mama got the baby a ducky bathrobe and a rubber ducky toy for the baby for Christmas) The rest of it was more we need this what brand should we choose. We decided to not get a lot of clothing but more so other essentials because we have no clue what size cloths he'll wear. My mom told me my brother was so big when he was born he went right into 6 mo old sized everything. That's a big baby! Especially if Jonas is overdue he may not fit some things... I have no clue. Hence waiting. I've been buying starting at 6 mo old from thrift stores and 2nd hand places. At Ross I bought some cute jammies with puppies on them and airplane stuff too. I can't wait till the nursery is all put together and that cute little guy is in my arms. 8 more weeks!

31 1/2 weeks!

8 1/2 more weeks to go....
repeat...
again...
can we say the longest countdown of my life!?!!?!
At this point in the pregnancy I know how the mother of the karate kid must have felt...
He is soooo active I wonder if everyone experiences this much kicking and pushing and shoving and I wonder if I should enroll him in some soccer or kickboxing lessons now to save on time.
I'm ready for him to be here sooo much.
8 1/2 more weeks to go....

Buying a house.

Me and Lee want to buy a house. I want to keep it around $100,000. Prayerfully we can work something out where we never have to worry about me having to work. Lets life stay less stressful. Money is something I pray to not worry about. I found a nice house in a great neighborhood for the ideal price range but feel so clueless about the whole process. They say the market is the best it could be right now for people able to buy a house. I just want a place we can call our home. Raise our kids. Things like that. Give it some personality. Maybe it's silly, but my hormones are in nesting mode. Our lease is up in August is that too soon to get a loan and hope to move in with a new baby on the way? I don't want to push it too hard too fast. Definately something to pray about. With the right financing we could pay less than what we do now to rent. Pray.

Stretch marks and standing up.

Ok... so who honestly has had a baby and NOT gotten stretch marks? You see all these advertisements for lotions and creams and anti-mark oils and these ladies don't have a mark on them! I blame photoshop of course. This is soooo unrealistic! There is no way anyone's belly can stretch this much and not have marks to show for it in some way shape or form. True they have been determined to go away with time and lighten, but to avoid them is a uphill battle that never ends. It's gonna happen and they're coming no matter what.

Other issue of the week is bending over and getting up. I will officially only bend over and get up so many time for certain reasons. Acceptable reasons include bathroom trips, with the intention of obtaining food, going to work, and to change movies from the dvd player (however crawling for this is also a good option). All the same we have a set of queen matresses and no frame. This low to the ground issue will be resolved when I get paid again. Till then it's like a yoga routine getting out of bed.

Otherwise everything is going well. I am tired all the time and I get bad indigestion. The only thing that helps my tummy is papya enzymes I got from the barley toots store. I can't remember the actual name of it but they sell organic stuff. Smells gross inside. Don't like it. The baby kicks all the time and the kicks are getting stronger every day. According to my reading he's as big as he's going to get but he's going to fatten up a few more pounds. 9 more weeks until my due date and then we'll see when he actually decides to come out. I just want to hold him and hug him and kiss him... after they clean him off first.

First Easter

Me and Lee had our first Easter together. And I saw a picture of my pregnant self. All I gotta say is I'm going on a serious diet after this little guy is out and about. We're going on walks every day and I'm going to manage my diet like you wouldn't believe. I've never been this big... but I've never been pregnant either. I know it's just the belly doing it. The dress didn't help either... didn't exactly hide anything. Less than three months... I'm not fat I'm pregnant... you can do this. I'll get a flattering pregnancy pictures one of these days... maybe next month? I'll wear black in the next one and maybe that will help. Either way sacrificing months of sleep and my self image is worth the baby. It's just tough to handle.

When you're expecting everything makes you cry like a baby.

I just watched the movie "Marley and Me" and I cried like a baby at the end. I've never even had a dog. I did have three ferrets who all have died so maybe that's where I connected? Maybe I should just not watch movies until after Jonas is born? I have no clue...

This weekend is Easter... Horray! One of the best hollidays in my opinion. There is nothing better to be celebrating than the resurection of our Lord Jesus. Words can't describe the joy it brings! Happy Easter Everyone!

News on the baby other than crying on a dime... everything is healthy and good. Lots of back pain, lots of hip pain, I feel like a combo cow and penguine. Big as a cow, walking like a penguine. I have been sleeping better which is good. I'm starting to get used to sleeping all day. Lee claims that's all I do... sleep and work... sleep and work... but I'll have you know I eat too! =)

Tomorrow we are going shopping after he goes to chior practice at church. We're going to get him some new dress pants, dress shirts, and I want to pick him out a tie. Socks will also been on the bill because we can't seem to keep track of the ones we have. Tragic. I want to get a new dress for Easter but don't know if I will be able to find one I like that is long enough and is modest in the bust. It's hard for a plus size pregant lady to shop. Maybe I'll find something that will work for me even after the baby is born. That's the style now isn't it? I'm also hoping to take advantage of some Clinique giveaways at Macy's Dept. Store. Free lipstick and blush and gift with the purchase of 21 some odd dollars... and I'm practically out of face wash so that works for me. Gimmie! =)

I'm praying that my parents will be able to come down and visit this August after the baby is born. My dad might not be able to come. Maybe I'm just being selfish but I miss them both and want to see them both and have them meet their grandson then. I'll see them both at Christmas either way. I've already decided when I get two weeks off for Christmas we're going up there.

Relief!

My hips don't hurt so bad now. Rest did me well. I slept a lot this past weekend. More than I probably wanted to. Baby was REALLY active today. His kicks are getting stronger if that's possible. Is it July yet?

Let's talk about pregnancy related hip pain.

So the other day I went and worked out on the eliptical machine at the gym at work for about 25 minutes. I thought I would be fine considering I can do two laps at the park and it's close to 45 minutes worth of work. Wrong! The eliptical is much harder and since I'm so far along now and my body is adjusting big time getting ready for labor my hips are so sore. Makes me walk a little funny because I'm trying to walk gentle. I plan on resting as much as possible this weekend and it should get better. I've never felt discomfort like this before. It's not really a profound pain that's going on and everything I can read about it claims this is normal and was caused by the different workout motion I was doing on the machine. Apparently my body is creating some kind of chemical that is softening and shifting the shape of my pelvic bone in antisipation of the big day which is still about 85 days or so away. It's amazing what our bodies are capable of. Other than the baby being here I'm looking forward to being able to get rid of all these crazy discomforts that come with expecting. Mostly excited for the baby though. I want to buy him cute outfits and dress him up in them and take lots of pictures. I would think every mom does.

On a plus side I bought some new shoes today and they are super comfy. I got them so I could have something easy to slip on, comfortable to walk in, and will allow me to not have to bend over and tie my shoes so much. Loafers XL. I love them. I'd been looking for about a month for a pair like these under $40 and I finally found ones I like in dark brown at Payless of all places. They are men's shoes because they cut women's shoes too narrow for my feet. I may have wide flat feet but at least I'm comfortable in what I have. I'm not too interested in fashion to begin with so I suppose that makes it that much better.

Guitars, Needles, and Countdowns

I want to learn some more songs on the guitar. I miss my guitar. It's collecting dust in my little brother's room in Ohio. I wish there was room in my car when I moved down here in June last year to have packed it. It seems like I have a list a mile long I want to learn. I especially want to learn the chords for the song Cold Cold Heart by Hank Williams. I find it so odd that I really don't care for country music but when I pick up that guitar it seems like that's what comes out. Maybe I just dislike country music that is created today. Who knows?

Today was another visit to the Birth Center. I had to have blood taken which I hate. They stuck me six times last time and then the ultrasound made it so they had to re-do the blood tests. This time they stuck me twice in the hand because they couldn't find the arm veins. Some people say there is no such thing as rolling veins except in old people. That is wrong. Me and my mom have always had issues with small and rolling veins. Just how it's always been. Even the people that stick you for a living have a hard time sticking us successfully. My blood sugar tested find this morning so I doubt that gestational diabetis will be an issue for me. I wouldn't be too excited to have to test my blood sugar and take insulin pills. I'll avoid that at all costs thanks.

The baby has been REALLY active lately. At first it was like my tummy was full of butterflies. Then it was cute little kicks. Then it was more like a bouncy ball was trying to get out. And now it's amost like a violent bouncy ball that just won't stop bouncing. On top of that I've been feeling those Braxton Hicks contractions. It feels almost like my tummy is doing a situp when I'm not doing anything. My midwives said it's my uterine muscles getting ready for the big day when they get to push that cute kid of mine into the world. Also makes me feel like I have to go to the bathroom a lot. They don't hurt but they can be uncomfortable and all activity is unexpected throughout the day but always most noticable when I'm trying to go to sleep. It's going to be weird when he's here because I'll be able to lay down and he'll be kicking me on the outside for a change. I'm so excited that he's so close. My countdown shows 88 days till the due date. I need to seriously get that nursery sorted out better... it's still too much office and not enough nursery.

Also my husband is going to the doc tomorrow, pray it goes well and they can help him feel better. It's nothing too serious but still enough to warrant a doctor visit.

Learning through videos.

I found this website...

www.babycenter.com

and it has more pregnancy videos than you could imagine with digital videos breaking it down depending on what you want to learn about. It's truely amazing what our bodies are capable of. I am so ready for baby to be here. Sometimes its so hard to believe he's so close to us. That he's even in there at all. But then he give my bladder a big old kick and I get heartburn from even looking at a pizza and it feels more real. He has been so active lately! This is comforting for me. The first time I went for an appointment I wasn't very far along and we had trouble finding the heartbeat. I like being able to feel their activity. Kinda makes me wonder if I'll be the same way when they are playing in another room and have been too quiet for too long. I'm very excited to get some good use out of the camera I got for Christmas. It's a pink Cybershot Sony something or other. All I know is it holds more pictures than I can take. I hope to get some good use out of it when we go to St. Augustine for our 1 year wedding anniversary as well as when Jonas is born. That kid is going to have more pictures taken of him than is probably healthy. I've also been looking at taking him for a studio shoot at Penny's or Sears. So many places give cupons. I decided the grandma's get lockets with pics, grandpa's get wallets, and everyone else gets some 3x5 action if they so desire. We might even have a Christmas card made this year. I'd like to be able to start doing that every year as our family grows. It's something new for me... we never did it growing up but I always thought it would be nice. And I'd get to dress up the kid (like a mom needs an excuse).

Revelations via Ezekiel via Genesis

I've been reading Ezekiel as a sprout of my curiosity of the tree of life via Genesis which ultimately lead me to Revelations. Cherabim vs. Seraphim. I feel so ignorant sometimes. This will be the subject matter of my next painting. Tree of life in the middle with an organic obscurity of some accurate Cherabim action. It's hard to say how well it will turn out because the workings are so sketchy. I need to do a lot more reading on the both and sketch up a storm before much more can be said about the direction of this thought. I pray the finished painting will do all the speaking for me.

Many people lose interests in the lists that the Bible holds. For me it excites my imagination. Me and my husband have been trying to read through the Bible cover to cover style and I can't help but sit there and page hop when he's at work. I get so wrapped up in words I don't understand and I start following references and before I know it I'm reading about these things that I never imagined. I pray for the dicipline to not forget to go back to what I miss in between.

In reference to all this... I'm really bad with words and talking to people and am hoping and praying that God will use my artistic gifts to let me show what I learn to the world. Maybe my art can find a way to do God's will. Maybe a painting can help lead someone to get saved.

It's like pulling teeth.

I had a tooth pulled on Saturday. Keeping a long story short I was there for three hours, cried once, and the actually extraction took a total of 20 seconds of pulling and one minute of me going... ewww... that is rotten! Brush your teeth kids! Once mine get back to 100% there is no way I will ever let them get as bad as they have been. No one is perfect keep in mind.

It's just a little stressful to have dental issues when your 26 weeks pregnant. If one flares up with an infection that could mean serious trouble for mommy and baby. But here again God is taking care of me in so many ways. He provided some killer insurance for me and the extraction went great. No bruising or swelling or excessive bleeding. That's what I'm talking about! Now I'm trying to be patient and not smile too much while my mouth is healing.

Baby Blog

Blog Number 1!

I know it is late in the game but I wanted to start a blog in reguards to an little person that is growing somewhere between my tummy and my bladder (he likes to effect both constantly).

So here are the facts to start...

I am currently 24 years old.
I was married June 2nd 2008.
I am 26 weeks pregnant as of today.
I am seeing midwives for my prenatal care and hopefully the delivery.
I am a born again Christian and so is my husband.
We are having a baby boy - confirmed by three "experts" in the field.
(Two ultrasounds at different places with different people.)
This is our first baby.

In relation to the above I suppose the biggest thing today is the due date has officially changed. Despite my belly measuring externally to be about 30 weeks according to the ultrasound I am actually 26 weeks pregnant. I knew this deep down from the beginning but in the field of medicine the patient knows nothing and everything has to be confirmed via expensive tests, poking and prodding. This is for the better of course. I don't mean to sound grouchy... I'm just hormonal. We had ultrasound issues in the past few months where we had no health insurance and could not afford the scan. But now that I have been blessed with a wonderful new job and full benefits to boot there's no more cause for worry. It was very important to get the ultrasound done because without it my due date would be a whopping 4 weeks inaccurate! If you don't deliver in a five week window of your due date care is automatically transfered to a hospital and a doctor. That could mean labor induction or a C-section. I do not want drugs if possible and I do not want a C-section if at all possible. God made our bodies for childbirth and I'm not to exciting about doctors or hospitals trying to get in the way of that.

Due date is now officially June 20th (origionally May 28th). First time moms deliver an average of 8 days late. Expected date of delivery is June 28th. I don't think they'll show up until July. We'll see what happens. They're coming one way or another.

Next visit expectations include more bloodwork and spontaneous dances while listening the Jackson 5 hits of the past. You remember... that's when Michael Jackson was still cute.